2013-01-04

I’ve told and retold, pared down and beefed up, the story of how wee baby Alex came into this world.  His invitation for me to become his earthly mother was impeccably timed.  My heart had burrowed itself deep into the dirt of grief, and Alex wrote his invitation for me to become his earthly mother in the dust thrown up around it.

As Rumi reminds us,

Whoever finds love
beneath hurt and grief
disappears into emptiness
with a thousand new disguises. 

So here I am, truly madly deeply (as they say) in love with an infant son conceived amidst grieving.  It could be the sleep-deprivation talking, but I’m feeling pretty confident and graceful in my new roles (i.e. disguises) of mother, co-parent, partner, and house-elf.  So, have I disappeared into emptiness?  I’m working on it…